He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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