If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I will be naked everywhere
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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