This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
