the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
