So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You dont lie about slip and slides
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
3 2 1 whiskey
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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