well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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