evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
