The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
