sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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