Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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