WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
