Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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