girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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