somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
