Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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