playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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