My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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