dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
