I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize