You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
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Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize