so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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