are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
People in love make me want to vomit
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
