Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Congratulations! We have a period
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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