It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
