I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
