is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
