tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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