Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
