you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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