Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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