The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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