i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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