That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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