My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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