Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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