Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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