Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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