You can't special order awesome
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
