He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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