you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize