I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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