Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
