I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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