Betty ford says i'm here all night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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