he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
