I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
