Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian

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(614): View more from Ohio

I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...

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(402): View more from Nebraska

her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed

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(631): View more from New York

im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.

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(613): View more from Ontario

It was great. He never spoke.

(613): View more from Ontario

That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.

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