We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
