In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize