I murdered the dance floor call the cops
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
