TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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