his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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