FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So many bounce houses so little time
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
