And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
A+ Viking dick
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
