I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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