:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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