Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
