I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
