Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
