worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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