is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
