Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
